If the person struggling with an addiction is one of our children, then how could it be the right thing to do by allowing them to continue to be ill.After all haven’t we always cared for them when they caught the flu or a cold and every-time they fell and hurt themselves?All of these things can still be done, but we must learn how to protect our emotions while we are loving them.All of the changes that we make to protect ourselves do not mean that we do not love them or cannot continue loving the alcoholics in our lives. Choose a competent person with a job and their own money. Women fall for the caretaker role too — they jump in as “mommy” and polish the jerk up, find them employment, manage their life. Healthy people aren’t looking for parents and life coaches. They want to be a caretaker, feel needed and powerful, and are flattered by apparent “helplessness”. Anyone who moves too fast or “loves” you before they have a good long time to get to know you? Pay attention to how much they really know about you.Loving our children, spouses and friends seems to be something that we “do” naturally.
Are they truly paying attention to your quirks and interests or are they feigning it with vague, over the top praise? Let enough time elapse to let their character show.Letting go of the alcoholic means that we must learn to love them differently.Alcoholism is considered to be an illness or a disease.Somehow love is directly related to trusting someone with “our” emotions.What a startling conflict in the way we think that love should be.